Seriously.  There isn’t…none.   Even if you aren’t a nut about espresso, the super-automatic machines out there are capable of producing drinkable results.  So, why is it you can still go to coffee carts and get not just bad, but horrendously undrinkable results?  People just don’t give a shit…that’s why.

I challenge anyone out there in food service land to tell me that leaving a pitcher of steamed milk out there AFTER steaming so it can be re-warmed minutes later is o.k. to do.  Forget the fact that you can’t make microfoam in already warmed milk.  Forget the fact that lattes should be made with the proper amount of milk to start with.  Milk SPOILS when it’s heated and left out people!

I seriously wonder if some of these coffee cart morons ever taste their own espresso creations?  If if so, do they blame the foul tasting beverage on the fact they “don’t like coffee”.   Sweet Jeebus people…I make a straight single shot about every 2 weeks just to ensure my own quality control.  And, I have a very manual machine which requires attention to detail.  Most of these bozos I’m talking about just push a button.

And, then we have the people that claim to be experts and coffee aficionados putting out shit quality.  What’s the excuse there?  MONEY.  Coffee carts and cafes are gold mines in the right locations because caffeine is a legal freaking drug.  And, there’s still people walking into supermarkets and buying “eXpresso”.

So, what’s the excuse.  Wouldn’t it be better for EVERYONE to at least put out “drinkable” espresso results…it’s working for Starbucks.  At least take some pride in making a beverage that will make someone else happy.

Let me start off by saying that I think the stink surrounding GMO crops is bullshit.  Humans have been genetically modifying crops since we formed clans that were less nomadic and converted to hunter/gatherers.  We didn’t know what the science behind it was, but we noticed that certain crops could be made sturdier by pruning out weaker or undesireable plants.

It wasn’t until the mid 1850s that an Austrian monk named Gregor Mendel set the stage for modern genetics by performing experiments on pea plants.  Mendel still didn’t know what the “unit” was, but his experiments showed that there were predictable ratios of “traits” that could be manipulated.  Today, we know that unit is a gene, and all the genes that make up an organism is a complete genome.

So, that’s a sort of long winded intro to some comments on this article:

https://news.discovery.com/human/life/coffee-genome-reveals-secrets-of-a-good-brew-140905.htm

Coffee geeks everywhere should be super excited about the possibilities of this.  Again, there’s nothing really new here except the techniques.  We no longer have to rely on Mendelian experiments to breed better plants, we can use much more precise techniques to create crops that are drought resistant, or pest resistant, or Arabica plants that can grow in a wider climate zone.

Today, we almost always use a blend to craft espresso brews to maintain consistency.  And we all know that espresso is a brewing method, not a bean or roast.  But, what if we could actually grow an ideal espresso bean?  Or, a totally natural decaffeinated bean?  Or…use your imagination.

Better coffee?  Yes please.

Flat.  Convex.  Concave.  Rippled.  Aluminum.  Stainless.  Pressure calibrated.  Does it really matter?

Do you really need to spend $100 on a tamper?

My personal opinion is no.  I’ve tried tampers that are flat, convex, and rippled and I couldn’t taste any difference in the result.  They all have their theories as to why non-flat is better.  All the theories have something to do with water dispersion on the puck.  But, in reality, the shower screen of your machine is doing that job.  And, when the puck is wet, it expands to fill the portafilter all the way up to the shower screen.  So, any shape that was in the dry puck is not going to stay.

The most important aspect of the tamper is simply the size.  Make sure it’s the correct diameter for your portafilter.  If it’s not the right size, it can be shaped like your Aunt Martha’s face and it won’t matter.

You can find several of the tampers I’ve tried to the right there.  The exception is the Espro calibrated tamper.  I just can’t bring myself to pay $100 for a device that flattens coffee.  I watch videos of the best barristas in the world, and they use simple flat tampers.  So, if that works for them, I can certainly spend the time to learn proper technique.

It’s a good time for coffee folk to live in North County San Diego.  First there was Pannikin.  A few years later, La Costa Coffee Roasting showed up.  Then the upstarts showed up.  Lofty Coffee Co and Cafe Ipe started serving up really great stuff, and showing that Pannikin was a bit long in the tooth.  Then, Revolution Roasters showed up in Cafe Ipe doing small batches of heaven weekly and really showing how badly Starbucks had conditioned America to over-roasted (burnt) beans.

Now Lofty Coffee has opened their own roasting facility too.  It’s right across the street from their other location on he Pacific Coast Highway in Encinitas, CA.  Yep, that’s two small batch artisan roasting facilities within 5 miles of each other on the coast.  Unlike Revolution Roasters, which has an old school, used Probat roaster, Lofty has a glistening, super shiny custom computer controlled setup.  Not only that, but there’s a new custom coffee bar in the front of the facility.

The bar has a food porn worthy custom Synesco machine where only the group heads and steam wands are above the counter.  The rest of the machine is totally hidden under the counter.  Th group heads above the bar look a bit like they belong in a Star Trek movie.  The shot I had was heavenly, and I think a little better than the machine across the street.  The location is a bit breezy though, and the barrista had to take great pains to keep the shot from getting ruined by the cross breeze.  BUT, the barristas are fully aware of the conditions and know that a breeze will mess up the shot.  So, when I saw him shield the group head with his hands, I was impressed…and he even apologized for blocking my view of the pour.

Then there’s the cold brew side.  You would be forgiven if you thought there was beer on that side of the bar because the cold brew, two versions, comes out of beer taps.  One version is cut with water and pumped with CO2.  The other is not cut with water, and pumped with Nitrogen.  It looks just like a Guinness tap.

So far, there is no regular roasting schedule.  “We roast on demand” was what the barrista said.  It looks like they are really just ramping up the operation.   Their espresso blend is something they are calling “Stay Classy” and I only saw 12oz bags and are about $12.  Revolution sells 8oz and 16oz bags, and the 16oz bags are $15.  So, Revolution is a just a fraction cheaper.  But, either way, if you brew at home, you will still come out significantly cheaper (and better) than a daily Starbucks run.

Surprisingly, I was not able to find a central “don’t go here” list to report bad espresso.  So, here’s the places I’ve encountered that you should avoid.

Starbucks – Just don’t do it…anywhere (unless you are buying food…the pastries are decent)

New York

• FIKA – All locations.  They are trying to be a hip Scandinavian place, but the espresso isn’t worth it.
• Porto Rico – East Village.  This place will draw you in with the aroma of the massive supply of beans they sell there…all different varieties and roasts, but the latte was undrinkable.  The shot was horrendous and the milk was burnt.  My 8yr old son can make a better drink with my Delonghi machine.
• Re:vive – Terminal 5 JFK.  This is an Illy cafe that has their “Artist I Del Gusto” label.  This means that the barrista is supposed to have the highest level of training.  The woman, that made my drink was on her phone the entire time, didn’t clean out the portafilter, and foamed the milk by just dunking the wand all the way down in the pitcher and let it it there.  This post is a direct result of me trying to find  number to call at Illy to report this travesty.

San Diego

• Black Rock Coffee Bar – 1918 Oceanside Blvd Oceanside, CA 92054.  See my review here…
• Cucina Enoteca – Del Mar. The food at this restaraunt is outstanding, but the espresso isn’t.  It’s sort of strong coffee, but it is bad coffee.
• “Espresso” Cart – San Diego Zoo (near the entrance)

 Palm Springs

• Mr. Parkers  – In the the retro-fab Parker hotel lies this restaurant.  The food is good.  The espresso is not.  It is actually espresso, unlike some other restaurants (who think strong coffee will pass), but, it is very bitter and had a sour aftertaste.